Mira. plain ol' jane. a year older every september 30th. for some reason, i love saying "Seriously". the label in my heart is "2pm". in love with music. better off being taller. :D

MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com

laugh like you never laugh before. %. givonn
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again & again.
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6:37 PM

i've been seriously stressed up these few days.
i don't know how long i can take it.

i really have enough problems & i don't need you to add it on.
i was trying my best to accept your flaws, but you.. ?
i don't even want to talk about it.

i'm not emo, but i'm seriously going to break down soon.
why is this always happening to me?
i never would want anything.
i appreciate whatever i have, not asking for more.
cause what for you wish for something or even someone that just won't happen?
but it seems like everyone is leaving me.
everyone i thought was by my side.
how stupid i was to believe in all these.. lies?
goes to show how naive & vulnerable i can be?

for me, i would give everything else in this world just so to have friends, by my side.
you could have everything else, but what would it be without having anyone to share it with?
yes, they do become problems sometimes & you wish you don't have them, but have you ever thought that you have flaws too?
i can have bags, shoes, clothes, handphone, jewelleries, EVERYTHING, but friends would ALWAYS be more important.
but.. are they leaving too?

people asked me, why i have low self-esteem?
but hasn't it always been that way?
i've always been the invisible one, in everything.
& i don't mind that.
really.
but how to be confident when all your doubts are true?
whatever that you feel insecure about yourself?
i really think, it's not worth liking/loving me. even as a friend.
it's just.. not worth it. I'M not worth it.
because of that, i find it so hard to be comfortable with anyone.
well, i guess, that's my mistake.
maybe, that's why i keep losing them.
again Syaf said was true, it's hard to "be" with someone who just doesn't feel comfortable with you even how hard they tried. but i'm learning. even though, it might seem too late, but it's worth a try. (:
but i got to say, i'm having a happier time in secondary sch, because i wouldn't need to be anyone else but myself.
i got to see different views of life, that i never saw.

damn funny la Myra & Syaf tadi.
you all say those words but i absolutely didn't faham.
bukan aper ah, but that shows how innocent i am.
innocent not that kind of innocent, just y'know, never been that type to learn "vulgarities" term kan? haha.
so meeting on Tuesday, for malay dance choreography for Syaf's "sister" wedding.
yeahh, no sch, so fun! haha.
going to Bukit Batok CC is it? dk ah. finally, a day to "rest". haha.

malay dance was quite fun la kan.
Abang Am was damn funny.
he showed us "cheats", & told ask about how his group sabo-ed the girls, when they left their dance, & like how this girl danced when her rambot "terjatoh".
then me, Syaf & Kak Fazleen got to be the guys?
seriously, i couldn't stop laughing.
guys have to be charming la kan, so we have to look at the girls.
Abang Am said "perempuan sebenarnyer mentel, tapi tak tunjokkan".
so the girls have to look down, but must steal glances.
then he showed how, couldn't help but laugh.
he said, "kalau ni boyfriend awak, takkan tak nak tengokkan?"
-he shows how a girl dance then steal a glance & saying 'sial ah, handsome nyer.'-
haha.
he so funny la.
oh yeah, i got to know i'm XS or smth?
& the pants/skirt was too long for me, i have to fold.
haha.
then we went through the tarian, changed the steps a bit.
rested, then it seems like everyone forgot the new steps when we ran through again.
so, it's like, everyone turned, when we weren't suppose to, & i was like doing that pose, i was so paiseyh. haha.
Syaf got time to say while dancing, "tadi cumer kau je sey buat".
haha, true what you said.
maybe, just maybe, i can do it right, but no self-confidence so everything will be a mess even when i'm right. lol.
haha, what to do?
my life's like that.
& can everyone stop saying i have so many scandals?
really la, i have none lor.
haha.
i'm not even with anyone, so how can i have scandals?
& seriously, ME? SCANDALS?
don't match. haha.
Alvina & Syaf, the thousands of scandals you said, especially those in band, they're not even real la. is y'all make up oneeee!
walao. LOL.
i barely talk to guys lor.
-_- haha.




i know my life's imperfect, so there's really a lot you can hate about me. go ahead. make yourself happy. that's always what i've been trying to do. :D[ im tired of waitin' ]